Your beliefs, Your reality
THE JOURNEY
Lift the veil
see life
in a whole new way
step outside
of the normal
the routine
the everyday
and play
meander through unknown streets
at a snail’s pace
indulge in nothing
and everything
be curious
explore
and find a new way of being
living and loving
find gratitude
in the simplest of things
let time slip by
unnoticed and unhurried
the journey
is in the joy you find
along the way
Living in a World Filled with Boxes
Here we are in the world, small beings of Light, filled with a warmth, a radiance, a brightness, surrounded by a dark cloud of beliefs that we have created and accumulated hoping that they will keep us safe and protected. Although this cloud surrounds our light and sometimes hides it from sight, it doesn’t keep us from living our lives, from having moments of love, connection and joy. The dark cloud just makes it harder for those moments to happen; sometimes causing us to forget that those moments are even possible.
Because these beliefs are stored deep in our subconscious, we don’t need to be aware of them or think about them for them to function and do their job. Often the only way we know they are there is by the effect they have on our thoughts, choices, reactions and behaviors. To move forward towards seeing the Light, embracing the Light and living in our Light, we need to understand how these beliefs are affecting the lives we are living right now.
Imagine that these beliefs take the shape of an enormous cardboard box that surrounds you, with only your head, arms and legs extending. Now imagine that everyone else is also surrounded by boxes. These boxes take up space, they feel solid and real, they have edges and sharp corners. They are sometimes opaque making it difficult to see the Light within ourselves and within others. The boxes come in different sizes, some are huge and take up an enormous amount of space and others are much smaller. Being in your cardboard box is very similar to living surrounded by a cloud of subconscious beliefs.
Imagine living in such a world of people surrounded by boxes. Imagine being at a family party in a small house? Being confined to a small space like a close relationship? Being at work, sharing a small space with lots of different people? These boxes cause constant bumping and pushing and feelings of discomfort because other people’s boxes keep getting in your way. Imagine trying to hug someone with our boxes, to hold them close.
Our beliefs, our boxes, cause us to bump into each other and push each other away. They get in the way of truly connecting, of seeing who that other person is deep down inside. They create distance between us. They mask who we truly are deep down inside. They create a new reality of who we are. When we look in the mirror what we see are our boxes, our beliefs, not our Light, our soul.
It is the job of our cardboard boxes (our beliefs) to keep our soft/loving interior safe, hidden, and protected from the pain of emotions such as feeling judged, rejected, hurt, unloved, alone, separate.... Beliefs do this by controlling how we allow ourselves to be in the world. They control how we behave and the decisions we make. They control us by changing our vision of reality. Yes, that’s right. Amazing isn’t it? Beliefs are like super thick eyeglasses that distort the way we see the world and what we understand of the world. These eyeglasses only let us see those parts of reality that fit within our beliefs.
Our beliefs create a new reality for each of us to live in. A reality in which every aspect of our life agrees with our protective beliefs. This process occurs automatically and so quickly, we aren’t even aware that it is happening. When we have an experience that does not agree with what we believe, our mind labels it as a lie, as fakery, as unimportant. Let’s look at one specific example and break it down into steps. Imagine you have the belief “I am ugly”. Imagine you are out and about in the world and someone comes up to you and says “you look so beautiful today!” or “are those new clothes, you look so good in them” or “you have the most beautiful: smile, eyes, hair...”. Now try to imagine how you would react inside after receiving such a compliment, knowing that deep down inside, you believe you are ugly. You might tell yourself that: “they are just trying to be nice”, “they are lying”, “they want something”, “they say it to everyone”, or “they are crazy”. In a matter of seconds, the truth of this person’s observation becomes meaningless, and your belief that you are ugly remains safe and unchallenged. What is amazing is that no matter how many times you receive this compliment, you will never believe it! The subconscious belief will always, always win. This denial, distortion and dismissal of reality occurs for every subconscious belief that we have accumulated or created. It’s mind-blowing to think about how much of reality we invalidate in our attempt to feel safe.
Every moment in our life we are filtering our experiences, our feelings, our observations through our beliefs and rejecting or accepting only those bits that agree. This is the reason why two people can be present at the same experience and have such different recollections of what took place. This is why 2 people can read the same newspaper article and come to very different conclusions. Our beliefs create a personal reality just for us. When people have shared beliefs, this creates shared realities. They will dismiss, deny and distort reality in much the same way. This is the reason people often befriend, connect with or choose to live with like-minded individuals. Being with others who share the same distortion of reality, feels safe and validates our own beliefs.
Our cardboard box, our beliefs, helps us feel safe and defines who we are for ourselves, for others and for the world. It also gets in the way of us:
connecting deeply
being honest and truthful about who we are deep down inside
finding our purpose and living that purpose
connecting with the Divine
So what would it be like living your life with a much smaller, softer, more rounded box that has some transparency? Close your eyes and imagine moving through your day, sharing space with the people who are important in your life, doing your work, with a box that is smaller, the corners less pointy, the walls less rigid, dense and more transparent. Imagine how much easier it would be to hug and connect with people. Imagine how much easier it would be to be yourself, to see yourself. Imagine how much easier it would be to live your life, do your work, be with people.
Remember that within this box, hidden down deep, is a beautiful glowing radiant light: your soul. The box is only part of you, not all of you. Each of us has a Light, a soul, although our box gets in the way of seeing and knowing that. By learning to connect with our Light, be in our Light, live from that Light, we will be taking the first steps towards changing that box, and to letting our Light rather than this box/our beliefs define who, what, and how we are in life.
LIGHT SHINES THROUGH THE DARK
One night I was walking with a friend down a darkened country road in southern Europe. We’d just been to dinner inside the small town with big castle-like walls and hadn't realized we’d be walking back to the farmhouse where we were staying in complete pitch-black darkness. There were no street lights in this village and I remember walking and feeling scared of the darkness - of tripping, falling, getting lost, and not knowing where we were or how far we needed to go.
I was scared until I looked up. The sky was an explosion of stars! In that moment my entire perspective shifted. I was no longer afraid and instead felt only wonder and awe.
I immediately connected to the Universe, to my friend, to myself through the starlight, and we followed the stars home. In a moment of darkness, the light led our way and fear was replaced by absolute joy. I knew I was in the exact place I was supposed to be and I felt a sense of fulfillment I hadn’t in a very long time. To feel connected to a place, a time, a friend, myself and the greater Universe all at once….was magical.
Even though you might also be walking through darkness, surrounded by fear and the beliefs that keep you small, that hold you back, that push you down...you carry light with you wherever you are. It’s within you - your soul. It’s around you - the Universe. All you need to do is be present, find the Light and it will help guide you home.
Invitation To Go Deeper
As with the previous work in Blog 1, it’s easier to see other people’s boxes than our own. The difference between this work and that of Blog 1 is that in Blog 1 we were looking for the actual beliefs that are getting in the way. When we are looking at boxes, we are looking at the behaviors that are the result of those protective beliefs.
Let's look for boxes! Notice when you feel other people’s boxes getting in your way, pushing you back, crowding you out, their sharp corners digging into you. These are the moments when people are pushing you, blaming you, putting you down. It’s moments when others are prickly, defensive, needy, lashing out at you.
Once you get the hang of seeing boxes in others, start looking for your edges, your walls, your pointy corners. Those moments when you are prickly, defensive, needy etc…. are showing you your box.
